A woman has shared how she refuses to host Christmas dinner because she wants to be able to nap—and the internet is outraged.
Posting to the discussion forum Mumsnet under the account name SecondSwitch, the woman started by revealing that she had made it clear to her husband from the start that she would never « be the wife/mother who hosted Christmas. »
« I grew up watching my mother tear her hair out every year at Christmas time, trying to be superwoman and as a result she would lose the plot and ruin Christmas, » she wrote.
She vowed never to be that person and so every year she will « buy the children presents, I make all their favorite food, and I usually have a nap on Christmas day while dh [darling husband] cleans up. »
She added that her husband was welcome to invite whoever he wishes and she’ll « provide booze and snacks, but it’s up to him to ‘host’ as such, as I’m not giving up my Christmas day nap. »
The mother then asked the forum if she was being unreasonable, after admitting that her husband’s family think she is « incredibly selfish and lazy. »
In many societies, women do the majority of cleaning and domestic work in their households.
According to the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development, women in the U.S. spend an average of four hours a day doing unpaid housework, as opposed to 2-and-a-half hours for men.
However, the mother’s Christmas story, shared on December 22, is not attracting much sympathy on Mumsnet. Hundreds of comments have been left on her post, with many people expressing their disdain.
One forum user, ClaryFairchild, wrote: « Well yeah, you are. Why can’t you both host together occasionally? »
Another person, Billandben444 agreed, commenting: « YABU [you are being unreasonable]. it doesn’t have to be a stressful day – you’re not your mother. How will your children remember their Christmases when they’re adults?
« Mum opted out every year and retired to bed when it suited her? If you’ve got the chutzpah to behave like this then talk to his family and explain your reasoning – it probably won’t change their opinion though. »
SeanMean wrote: « You do sound pretty lazy and selfish to me. Your poor DH [darling husband]….ever hear of teamwork? »
TheMilkyWeigh opined: « I think YABU [you are being unreasonable] to suggest that people can come round but then to go off to bed.
« I would feel very awkward as an invited guest if an adult in the house was in bed. Are the guests supposed to be quiet? No music or TV? No laughing? I’d feel very awkward and would be concerned that I’d end up waking the person up. »
Copasetic asked: « Why does anyone need a Christmas Day nap? Do you normally have a nap in the middle of the day? »
A few did support the mother, though, including ChubbyMorticia who wrote: « I’d add, if the kids were complaining about you disappearing for a nap on Christmas Day, I’d reassess then too. But people outside your DH and kids? Nah, none of them get a vote in how our house runs. »
Totalwasteofpaper suggested: « Yanbu [you are not being unreasonable] but I think peeling a couple of potatoes would be nice. »
PersonaNonGarter commented: « You don’t sound great, but on the other hand you aren’t imposing on anyone. Not surprised you are being judged on your immovable ‘Christmas Day nap’ but you do you. »
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